A Culture of Honor

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." -Romans 12:10

I love seeing how Asian cultures treat their elders. Honor in their culture is a big part of respecting someone who has lived life longer than you, (and hopefully has more wisdom, too!)  Honor is also a trademark of military life.  Honor is very much a kingdom idea.

In our American culture, honor is rare, while idolatry is rampant.  It is very fitting to honor people for their achievements and service. But in everyday life, we should learn to honor people wherever we are. Honor isn't conditional; rather we honor people because they are God's creation, created for a specific purpose in Him.  Honor brings out the best in people. 

Bill Johnson, 3rd generation minister and Senior Pastor of Bethel Church in Redding California says, "Leaders who want a culture of honor so they'll be treated better miss the point. Honor is the atmosphere in which the people of God become their best."

We realize as we honor others that we receive honor in return.  If we learn to honor even the smallest person, we’ve recognized what it means to be great in God’s kingdom. Above all, honoring God and putting Him first is the best way to walk in humility in Him. 

I attended a friend of mine’s funeral who had served in the military.  What a gut-wrenching service it was! It was amazing to me how much honor was given that day. When we got to the point in the service when the flag was folded and given to his family, everyone was in tears. They really honored his life that day.  

How can you honor someone today? 

Living Under Authority

"Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit." -Hebrews 13:17
 
We rarely like hearing about the words "submission", "obedience", and "authority." Mainly perhaps, because they have often been abused by people in positions of power. But, possibly also because each of us struggles with being under authority. It goes against our very nature to follow someone else and serve. However, this is one of the primary ways the kingdom advances. 

Jesus was an incredible example of someone who lived under authority. The Bible says He only did what He saw His Father doing. (John 5:19) Some other examples of living under authority are Joseph and Pharaoh, Joshua and Moses, Samuel and Eli, and Elisha and Elijah. If we are married, we are called to "submit to one another" in honor, with the husband being the primary one responsible for the well-being of his family. We also live under the authority of our national and local governments. (Rom 13:1-5) 

The challenge with living under authority is that no leader is perfect. But, even so, God can work His perfect will in our lives by living under the wing of a leader who is imperfectly human. This is not to say we blindly follow someone just for the shear fact of this principle, but we generally respect and do what is asked of a proven leader with integrity. 

Simon McIntyre in his book Follow the Leader states, "I am convinced that many a destiny has been short circuited by an inability to hold the line under pressure. We interpret pressure as a reason to flee, whereas great followers like Joseph allow it to change them into the kind of people who can bear the load of fulfilled dreams." 

Do you live under authority? If you have trouble with this, ask God to help you with it today. We can trust Him by submitting to His leadership for our lives.

Honoring Others in Business and In Life

“If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.” -James 3:13

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Ah, the golden rule.  It seems so simple, and yet due to our humanness, woundedness, (and as evidenced by human history), we have the hardest time following the golden rule and honoring others.  The self always wants to be promoted, seen & heard.

There was a season in my life during a Bible college I was attending where I was learning all about service. We were asked to do a lot of service-related activities as a part of our Bible college training.  Looking back I really appreciate this, because in order to be promoted in life, we must learn to serve and honor those around us!  We never graduate from serving. Our responsibility to serve grows as God finds us faithful with a little. We serve others knowing that we are really serving God.

“Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.” -Proverbs 29:23

There are a lot of examples of dis-honor in our culture.  Can you think of any? Honoring others has become counter-culture.  However there are cultures where honor is highly esteemed.  The Japanese culture is one. That may be why they have the highest life expectancy!  (Eph 6:2&3)

Honoring those around us may mean letting them go first when the opportunity arises.  It may mean opening a door for someone, being respectful, and not cutting in on a conversation.  It may mean listening better, not trying to get our own way, but giving someone else the right of way.  It may mean putting our own feelings and aspirations aside for the benefit of someone else.  In the end, we have to realize that it’s not about us.  It’s about others.

What could you do to honor someone else today?

Unconditional Blessing, Unconditional Honor

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”  -Romans 12:14



If you’ve spent any time in Christian circles, you’ve likely heard a sermon preached on blessing our enemies and praying for those who curse us. (Luke 6:28) We talk about blessing as it relates to people who are different than us, aka, sinners, or the unrighteous.  But how often on a regular basis do we get to mingle with people who are COMPLETELY different than us, unless we started hanging out at bars, strip clubs, or mosques?  And, how often does someone who is more like us rub us the wrong way at church? How do we respond? Do we actually know how to bless someone we disagree with, like Jesus did?



Our culture is pretty different than Eastern Jewish culture was back then.  Our culture is very much based on a performance-mindset - that is, “If you do what I want, I’ll bless you.”  This idea comes through in our parenting styles, our management, and our pastoral care.  No doubt about it there is consequence for poor or bad behavior.  But, in the Jewish culture they understood that blessing was a given.  You bless the person because they are a human being, created by God.  You believe the best for them.  You pray for them.  As far as honor was concerned, they honored people because of the position they held, not because of good or bad behavior, (not to say they didn’t confront them.) (Matthew 18:15) But, in our culture, I think we have it backwards. We’re called to bless, not withhold blessing based on performance.  In reality, we should honor everyone, no matter who they are. 



True love isn’t love if it’s conditional - true love is very hard. When we are offended or hurt by something, we naturally shrink back in self-protection.  To be possible, unconditional blessing requires the cross - it requires Jesus.



Are you able to bless others unconditionally?  When someone hurts you, instead of putting walls up, try blessing them instead. This isn’t condoning out of order behavior - but a recognition of the person in spite of their behavior. Pray and ask God how He might have you bless someone today.

Love & Respect

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” -Ephesians 5:33

Have you ever heard the phrases “men need respect”, and “women need love”?  I have to admit this idea was branded into my brain as a result of some amazing marriage coaching after my husband and I were engaged.  But it wasn’t until recently that these words jumped out at me as I was reading scripture –and how true they are!

We are all wired so differently – men and women, young and old, with different likes and dislikes, different desires and different motivations.  How could we best motivate and encourage each other if we knew what made the other person tick?

In the short amount of time I’ve been married, I’ve that what motivates me is different than what motivates my other half.  His love languages are different then mine.  In business and ministry, the same is true!  Some may be motivated by challenge, others, serving others.  Still, some are motivated by “getting it right”, and still others are motivated by the fun of it all.  But, at the end of the day, we do have two things in common – we need to feel loved, and we need to feel respected for what we bring to the table.

The picture of marriage and how we are to treat one another in the New Testament is quite different from some of the cultural expectations we’ve had about relationships.  Our culture says, “Serve me!” when we are called to serve.  (Matt 20:28) Some believe marriage is to “be served” when Christ said, “lay down your life for your bride.” (Eph 5:25) We think all our problems will end when someone comes into our lives to fix them for us.  Instead, it reveals our greatest inadequacies in being more like Christ, but the best way we can grow into becoming more like Him.

In all our relationships, love and respect are key.  How can you love and respect those you serve today?